Dear Future Katy
You nearly had a very mardy Current Katy on your hands. Gosh, I was in a right grump earlier. To give you a quick insight…
feeling rather exasperated. i havent got a job, haven’t any friends. never see the guy whos supposed to be my boyfriend. urggghghghfhghfghgf.
Thus that letter (it was waaaay longer, and contained many expletives) has been figuratively burned. Side note – I say literally, literally way too much, when the subject is actually just a metaphor, so I’m saying figuratively instead. Unless of course it did literally happen then, whatever. Literally.
On the other hand, maybe I should have posted it. Reminded you that recovery isn’t simple. It’s normal to have low points, it’s how you deal with them that matters. And let’s face it my coping mechanisms in the past, haven’t exactly been what you or I would have called healthy
I stepped away from my moan. Complaining wasn’t going to help. I made a conscious decision to try to do something about my situation. (Go mindfulness!) I applied for the Florist apprenticeship which had been lingering in my saved applications for nearly a month. No, I may not get the position. I may remain jobless for a while. In that moment however, I felt positive. And I still do. I’ve slapped some pink hair dye on my mop, got my tunes on full blast, and I even had a facetime from my Gma, thanking me for her birthday present.
So my advice for you today Future Me, is… If you don’t like your situation do something about it. It may seem pretty hopeless and impossible at that moment, but trust me, take a step back, relax. Really look at what’s going on. Does it really matter? Does it need to be fixed right now? And if it really does, you can do SOMETHING. There are people who are there for you Future Katy, I don’t know exactly who? You may have joined a cult? But ask. Someone will be there to help you. I Promise. Earlier I felt like I had no-one. Bloody hell, the amount of times I’ve felt like no-one was in my corner or cared. Turned out there was always someone, even if it wasn’t who I was expecting.
So chin up. I believe in you. We will get there. Who knows, you could be running your own flower shop by now Future Me?
Current Katy x
P.S – The tunes I had on.
- Mowgli’s Road – Marina and The Diamonds
- Attacting Flies – Aluna George
- Sunshine – Gabrielle
- There’s a Touch – The Proclaimers
- Ready to Run – Dixie Chicks
- Chocolate – The 1975
- Keep On Loving You – REO Speedwagon
- Sometimes It’s Hard – Jamie Lawson
- Que Sera Sera – Doris Day